The Eagle

THE EAGLE



Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm. When the storms of life come upon us - and all of us will experience them - we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God. The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God's power to lift us above them. God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the storm. Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.

The Bible says, "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles." Isaiah 40:31

Nothing AHEAD of you is bigger or stronger than the POWER of God BEHIND you!

"Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power." Ephesians 6:10

MRI and follow up appt

Sorry, I missed an update there, what with sleeping off the anesthetic.

MRI was really a no-brainer. Very kewl Dr in the house, Dr Norris, who was administering happy drugs, she is a cancer survivor, and I would have enjoyed talking to her more, but she waved byebye and gave me some more happy juice.

Went in today to see the Gynecologist. She had all the reports, including yesterdays. They have found a small lesion on my right breast. Its about 2 mm. They need to do a needle biopsy of it. If it is cancer, it changes things. It means that the cancer cells in my arm are indeed metastisized cancer cells. Jumping ahead of the game, it means that I will require chemo as well as the radiation that we had already planned on. I think that its important to note that its a very small lesion, and we had all been very puzzled with breast cancer in the arm but nowhere else. I will be pushing for estrogen suppresants now, and quite possibly for my ovaries to be removed completely. But I will wait to talk to Dr Mates, as she is the captain of this ship. The biopsy can be done over the next couple weeks, before the antibiotics are finished, which is nice, given that everything else is on hold until we finish the antibiotics.

But we will still take things one day at a time.

Tomorrow, I am off to find campkits for the boys, as they go to a Beavers daycamp on Saturday.
And some long sleeved shirts for Ryan, who insists on pictures on his shirts. I tried to convince him that he could wear a long sleeved shirt UNDER the picture tshirt, but he says that that doesn't count. Sigh. 5 is a very hard age to be.

Radiology Appt today

I met the radiation specialist today. He would like to see a slightly more aggressive approach taken to this whole puzzle. He would like to see me, post reconstruction surgery, have a round of radiation and chemo. He spoke my concern about the stray cancer cells that we haven't cut out. But he is on a wait pattern until I see Dr Mates (my oncologist) again, following the tests being completed. He also again mentioned hormone therapy, where we starve all cells of estrogen, which is what breast cancer lives on. Does anybody know why they don't just eliminate estrogen for breast cancer victims? Weird that if we know what they eat, why can't we just starve them out? Hmmmmm, there's some research for you Dad!

I got a big binder today, from the hospital, to keep everything together, including contact info and procedure information. Its very neat, but it very clearly states that its from the cancer clinic, so I imagine that I am going to have to start using that word around home, getting the kids adjusted to the concept, fairly soon. We have avoided it, and its been a little weird at times. When Emily was doing the Terry Fox run, she told me that there was a banner that you could write names of cancer survivors and victims, and she wrote the name of Susan, a young friend of ours who lost her eyes to cancer when she was 10. Emily said that she knew that MY grandmother had died from cancer, as well, but that she didn't know her personally, but that some of the other kids had members of their family that they were writing on the banner. I felt like such a liar at that point, that I haven't told them everything. Especially Emily who is getting old enough that she deserves to know. She has questioned why its taking so long for my arm to be better, and has asked if God is angry with us for something. Its hard, especially since this is breast cancer, and will increase HER risk for the disease and become part of HER medical history. I feel like I am making her grow up too quickly to give her that information. Adam will have a million questions and then, some day, come up with a cure, the way that child's brain works. And Ryan just wants to know if he can stay with me when I go to the hospital next time. He insists that he can just sleep on the floor. Enough of our friends know, I worry that they are going to let it slip to their kids. And kids figure out things psychically, sometimes, anyways.

I just really need to be done with this antibiotic bag that I have to haul with me everywhere. It is seriously making me grumpy. Its heavy and stinky and requires the nurse coming in each day. I just want one day of alone. One opportunity to shower without an arm hanging out the side. Whine whine.

Positive thoughts and positive energy......tomorrow morning's MRI is going to show nothing new and nothing interesting.

BUSY WEEK AGAIN!

I have an MRI on Wed morning, and an appointment with the gynocologist on Thursday to go over all the results.

Wed night, the boys are going on their first beavers hike. and then spending the day with the cubs on Saturday, at scout camp.

Hope everybody had a happy thanksiving.

My Oncologist just called

All my test results (except for the one next week!) are in, and she is pleasantly surprised to find out that there are no other cancer cells showing up. A spot on my liver turns out to be nothing of significance. The NEWEST plan is to wait out the antibiotics, and then have further surgery, taking some more bone, and then putting in some metal to give it stability. Radiation may not even be done! How bizarre! So I may have my surgery before Christmas!

GOOD MONDAY MORNING & AN UPDATE

just spoke with MRI people, they want me to come in to make sure that I will fit into the machine with the cage thing that they need to use next time. If all goes well, I am scheduled for next Wednesday for the next MRI. Click click, the plan falls into place!

I am so tired of hauling this pack with the antibiotics and machine with me everywhere! Its only for another 30 days, but its too long. And too much. Whine whine.

Got my little garden weeded out on Saturday. Took my stool and pulled weeds with one hand, but it worked. I had to get Greg to come clean them up for me, because I didn't use a bucket and couldn't pick them up with both hands! But it looks so nice now! Now I need to get a pot so that I can repot the aloe vera plant to bring it inside. It has loved being outside all summer, and has at least 5 babies ready to be separated. It feels good to do this stuff and feels good that I am able to do this stuff, even if I am sore and tired afterwards.

I have two appointments this week, one to start physio, and one with the GP as a catch up visit.

Hope everybody has a good week.

And now its time for the NEXT curveball!

Ok, so curveballs are not generally announced ahead of time, but this is a blog, and you do need a title.

James (the children's father, who lives in Ottawa and is in the military) called me yesterday morning, and told me that he, personally, had been requested to serve as assistant to a general or something, in Afghanistan, for a year, with a deparature 30 days from now. He wanted to know, given what is happening here, and will be happening here, was it feasible for him to accept the mission. I said I would do my own staff check, but seriously, if he is asking me, then he has already made up his own mind, and he is already going, at least in his own head. But I did my staff checks, and most of us agree that a) it would be harder on the wknds, with no break, but Greg *could* give up his Saturday job, to help out b) there would be more money coming in for help, so we could hire help c) less bouncing around for the kids would probably mean less outbursts, and definitely less transition time. And we are already doing it, without him, most days. So we all agreed that it really wasn't a problem for him to go.

By the time he came last night to pick the kids up, the woohoo had been downgraded to 6 mths, and only a maybe, that he would find out this coming week if it was a go. He had previously made it sound like it was absolutely happening, that he was the one going, as long as his checks fell into place. I fell for it again. He has done this to me so many times, put me in a position of hurrying to sort things out, only for it to not happen. Maybe its military life, but I think its his "woohoo, I am going to war" attitude that converts everything into a hurry up situation.

I am getting my first xrays of the arm since the hospital on Oct 30th. We get to see what, if any, regrowth is happening. May be wishful thinking, but it certainly is stronger, and some of the ouch issues may simply be because I haven't been using it, and it just needs physio. But I am not to try to use it until he gives the go-ahead. I mean, I use it, I only wear the sling outside the house, but to actually start lifting things, and pushing things, thats on a wait until healed.

Immunotec (www.immunotec.com/dragonfly1) has a wonderful new product that has just been released that was meant just for people like me! Its a probiotic with cranberry. Being on antibiotics means that ALL flora gets killed off in your stomach and intestinal tract. I eat yoghurt daily, but taking something with specific probiotics in higher amounts, and cranberry, which is a cleanser and can protect you from certain infections, can only be better than yoghurt alone.

I think I am feeling more energy this week. I have certainly not had to sleep as much this week as previous weeks. So that is good. I am still taking advantage of the children being away by staying in my pajamas for a good long while today! The nurse has been, so I am going to go back to bed and read a book.

Hope everybody has a good weekend.