Keeping on the Sunny Side

Somebody
mentioned this song today, and I started thinking about all the applications. Why don't we sing these kinds of songs anymore?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOpGuHNwOXo

how much longer until sunshine?

Maybe the doctor would write me a prescription to send me someplace sandy and warm? I hate all this grey weather. My arm is doing well, but I have a bad case of the uglies. I am seeing a new doctor tomorrow that my family dr has referred me to, a psycho-therapist, i believe, so that he can look at my meds and make some adjustments. Everything seems so disconnected, out of joint. I thought I would be feeling so much better with my arm back in use. But instead, I am feeling so overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done. I AM getting what needs to be done, done. But it doesn't feel good enough, fast enough, something. Time to start doing those charts, and crossing things off as they get done, so that I can see what I HAVE accomplished, instead of focusing on what I still need to do!
Adam is starting a new program at Queens University tomorrow. Its thru the psych department, but it is a much more thorough testing than he has ever had. I am not expecting a different diagnosis than ADHD, but perhaps we will learn different coping skills. I really hate how the meds slow him down so much, at times he is almost zombie like. There should be a middle ground for him, something that slows him down so that he can focus, but allows him to keep his personality. Again, he will do better when the weather changes, as he will be able to get out and run more.

PHYSIO and MASSAGE too much in one day!

I had both a physio appt and a massage appt same day same place on Thurs. Given that I am still achy today, I am guessing that both on the same day is not a good thing. Lots of mobility in arm now. More exercises, still no weight bearing. Found out about a Tai Chi class that is especially for people regaining health, everything is paced slower and only to ability. Movements are adjusted to suit. And when instructor decided that you are ready to join the regular class, they gently push you out of the nest. Its not yoga, but it may be a good substitute.
Had Emily in to talk to the nurse practioner, and we are gong to get her a counsellor to talk to. Emily feels that she is stressed. I believe that she needs some help finding the language that she needs to express her concerns and disappointments. I think it would be better for everybody if we taught how to talk about and handle stress to children, so that they have those skills when they grow up.

the slow and painful slog back to wellness

you probably thought that you were going to read about my physio and such. ha! not even close!

was to see the chiro today for the first time in a couple weeks, and to start getting my alignment taken care of. the chiro has been down in some warm climate and that just makes me grumpy. but she has brought back an unexpected souvenier and is so ill that she can't even get out of bed. so they cancelled this week's appts. too bad as i was going to start accupuncture on thurs.

so, for a change, i was up and dressed and ready for to go when the kids were picked up for school. most days, since getting sick, i have just headed back to bed. i confess to spending some time reading, but actually have put in some time cleaning. yes, its true, i am doing housework! worse, i am bragging about it! now you all know just how big a sloth i have been! lol.

i have decided that for my emotional wellbeing, i must attain a noticeable goal. its not enough for me to state that i actually worked for 40 minutes straight, which is a new best for me (post infection, etc). instead, i have a very clean window in my bedroom. i can look at it and see that i have actually done something. the rest of the time was spent in unnoticeable gains, as things have gotten very very bad while i have been sick. i have two bags of trash out, and a bag of clothes ready and growing for pick up on friday. yesterday i cleaned the ceiling fans. two bright and shiny achievements (or does it count as five, as i cleaned one window and three ceiling fans yesterday and one window today?). and i am not all out of breath and sweaty, which must mean that i am gaining strength. and mobility, as my arm really isn't causing me distress. if i think about it hard enough, my arm doesn't move like it should yet, and is noticeablly weak. but considering that it hasn;t been used properly since last march, that i am able to use it at all is celebration to me!

i now need to take a break. hey, maybe ryan and i should go for a walk on this beautiful sunny day! or is that pushing it?
isn't it amazing how energy inspires energy?

Much Kewlness!

So I had enough on the ball the other day to remember to take a memory stick with me to the doctor.
In xray2, if you look about half way down, on the side away from my body, you will see a small circular dark shape, that is the original biopsy site. Overtop it, sort of rugged white, like a mountain,maybe, is the new bone growth, growing over the hole in the bone from the tumour as well as the biopsy. growth is healthy looking, and growing faster since he put the rod in. he suggests that the body feels that its safe to heal now that the rod is stabilizing things. this is all from the ortho surgeon.
the oncologist says that she is going to continue to monitor me, with mri's every 6 mths, but she is pleased, and really doesn't expect to see anything happening. if something does show up, it will be treated as a metastitized cancer, though. this means that they will do treatment, but won;t be so quick to cut out the cancerous parts. they would just try to slow the disease. but we are not going there. i am going to continue to do what i am doing, 4 packets of immunocal a day, vitamins, and a positive outlook.

Ultrasound tomorrow

No brainer at this point, just a 6 mth follow up.

Adam saw his specialist doctor today, and we got started in helping him to work through some of his issues. His temper has been increasing, and he isn't able to talk about it on his own. He will be seeing her again in a couple weeks.

Emily got player of the week at basketball. And the girls had an amazing game!

Doctor switching one of my meds

Apparently, antidepressants provide pain relief. Or affect some receptor in tbe brain so that one doesn't feel pain as badly. The doctor has decided to try a different one out. Now, when they ask you, when you are at the hospital, to put a number to your pain, do they factor in antidepressants, such that a 9 automatically becomes a diff number? And what about the poor guy who is drug-free and in pain? Does he get a different scale than me, altogether? I wonder about these things.

I have Biceps!!!!

and boy do they hurt! The massage therapist was working them today, and I am in pain tonight, but they are working, and that is a good thing. Lots of work ahead, to get these muscles up and working and strong. Still not to do anything weight bearing, but am to start to stretch out muscles and re-oxygenate them.

Long overdue post

Sorry, gang. Its just been so hard for some reason, to sit down and write this post.

Surgery date was Dec 4th. All went very well, I was admitted into the hospital for four days to adjust pain meds and get the pain under control. I have to tell you that the pain that I experienced, post surgically, was unlike any pain ever experienced before. It all seemed to be focused in my elbow, which they didn;t even touch. Apparently the spot in the brain that translates elbow pain is right beside the spot for the humorous and the humorous pain was so overwhelming that it just wasn't communicating at all. So it was sort of like walking around with the worst funny bone ever, that wouldn't stop!

Once we got the pain under control, and I got home, I basically stayed at home for the two weeks, mostly lying down with my arm propped. Meds made me nauseous , so it was hard to eat anything. The kids were with their dad, which was hard, but good too, because I was able to do basically nothing to take care of them. I had restricted movement this time due to stitches into my rotator cuff. That was annoying as I wanted to prop my arm away, but the stitches kept the arm tight to my body.

At the end of the two weeks, I saw the ortho surgeon and got to see pics of my new arm. it looks just like a big dogbone with a long rod in it and two screws, one at te top and one at the bottom. but the dr was pleased. I was sent home to carry on.

The kids came home on the 27th of dec and that is when we celebrated Christmas. My mom and dad came down as well, so it was really nice. Our friends, Sarah and Bill were away at that time and had offered us their house, so mom and dad had some opportunity for quiet time. I think it worked out really nice for them. The kids got spoiled, getting both ds and wii, but it was a good year for that, because I was still not able to do much. Kept them busy!

They are back at school, and I am still taking it very easy. I have started a passive physio program, with the therapist moving my arm for me, and massage therapy to get the oxygen moving better thru the arm and shoulder. They are both pleased with where I am at, and feel that I will make fast progress once I am able to move again.

All specimens that were taking from teh arm when they debrided it this time came back negative for cancer cells. Supposedly, because they were specifically testing for breast cancer, they would have easily found the cells, if they were there. So, we say woohoo, but remain confused as to what we are dealing with. I am to see the oncologist at some point over the next couple weeks. Its kind of funny, one arm, but I need to check in with 5 drs to find out how I am doing. General consensus is that I am doing well, for where I am in the healing process.

Because we are at what is basically the half way point of the post surgical "don't do anything with that arm" stage, I feel that I have lost ground, and am grumpy and frustrated with it all. There is very little that I can do, and energy levels are very low. I finished up another long run of antibiotics, orally, after the surgery, and they seem to hang in the body for a long time. As well, I still take percocet a lot of nights. Both can make one feel run down. And just generally sitting around and unable to do much is a tiring thing!

That is the basic update. I will try to post more later on as I think of it.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Please keep them coming!