It is so much less stressful when you have zero time to prepare for surgery or hospital stay! Last time round, Adam had just come home from his grandparents, and had a laundry basket full of clean clothes, and Emily was at her grandparents, same thing when she came home, so Greg just had to grab some stuff for Ryan, and he was done. This time, its midweek, (I need to have things ready Thursday night)and seems so much more complicated. Oh well, I am allowed to whine here.
Today is pajama day at the school. I meant to take pictures before they left, but will try when they come home. I made new fleece bottoms for all of them. Emily wanted cheetah, of course, so I put a cheetah pawprint on her top, Ryan designed his giraffe jammies to feature a loooooooong, neck on the t-shirt. Adam's are multicoloured, with a red t-shirt that has a pocket. This is an important feature, as he can keep his sleepmask in it, the sleepmask that he made himself.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
WE HAVE A DATE FOR SURGERY!!!
I am scheduled to have surgery on my arm on Dec 4th. They will be putting a rod into my arm from my shoulder and tightenning it near my elbow. because there will be stitches into the rotator cuff, i am not allowed to use the arm at all for two weeks. i feel like there is suddenly so much to do, but there really isn't. the kids will be taken care of by their father, here in kingston until they can come home or until its christmas holidays, whichever comes first.
pray that i am calm for the next week and a half. pray for wisdom for the surgeons, and for everything to go as planned, with no surprises. i will be able to start off the new year with a new arm that can get stronger and stronger.
pray that i am calm for the next week and a half. pray for wisdom for the surgeons, and for everything to go as planned, with no surprises. i will be able to start off the new year with a new arm that can get stronger and stronger.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Ortho surgeon update
I saw the ortho surgeon yesterday. There is still no firm diagnosis in my situation, he lacks faith in the pathology dept, the oncologist is not convinced, etc. So, while I will continue to be treated as if I have metastitized breast cancer, the ortho doctor is pretty sure that I am going to continue on as "NORMAL" following this next surgery and some radiation. He must be some impressed with his own abilities if he thinks he can make ME normal, I have been far off of normal my entire life!!! LOL
He was able to make the surgical options more clear to me and help me to understand why we were choosing one option over another one. With a tumour that is at its point of origin, when they remove it, they would put a rod in for stability and then likely do a bone graph from the bone bank. The bone bank is, essentially, dead bones. They are a foreign substance being introduced into a site that is already upset. He prefers, when possible, and when a patient has a strong prognosis, to avoid doing this. One- because there is a strong chance of the body rejecting the graph, and more surgery being required. Two- there is cementing involved and more cutting and general mucking about.
The oncologist would prefer that the ortho was taking more samples, cutting out more bone, as he would be doing if this was the origin site. But. There is already boney regrowth happening, and the ortho dr does not want to disturb it repeatedly. He is choosing to put a rod in without disturbing the original surgery. he wants to insert the rod up near the shoulder, and tighten it further down, getting closer to my elbow. There is a risk here, that, if there are cancer cells remaining in the arm, he could, inadvertently displace them further down the arm. This is why we will be doing radiation afterwards, inthe hopes of killing off any crap cells.
So, rod goes in, and stitches are made into the rotator cuff. This means NO MOVEMENT of the arm for at least two weeks, and then very limited activity for 6 weeks. He expects that this will all happen before Christmas, so any travel at Christmas is likely to be severely curtailed. I won't be even attempting to drive myself for a few weeks. This whole rotator cuff thing has me freaked a bit, I know so many people that have never been the same once they hurt their rotator cuff, so I will be overcautious with this.
The nurse came in today to remove the picc line from my arm. I need to wait one day with a bandaid on the site, but then can remove it and start to take care of the skin that has just been wrecked where the picc line was, from the various bandaids and adhesives that they have used. The tubing was 34 inches long in case anybody is interested. Wasn't that gross to look at afterwards, though I didn't look while they were doing it. Hopefully the itching will go away soon!
I am emotionally and physically exhausted right now. I thought I would start to feel better now that I am off the antibiotics, but they hang around for a while, and there is a lot of stuff starting to happen for the next surgery. That, and a bit of poor me, and we have one tired mama. Kids are here this weekend. There will be mandatory quiet time, for certain.
He was able to make the surgical options more clear to me and help me to understand why we were choosing one option over another one. With a tumour that is at its point of origin, when they remove it, they would put a rod in for stability and then likely do a bone graph from the bone bank. The bone bank is, essentially, dead bones. They are a foreign substance being introduced into a site that is already upset. He prefers, when possible, and when a patient has a strong prognosis, to avoid doing this. One- because there is a strong chance of the body rejecting the graph, and more surgery being required. Two- there is cementing involved and more cutting and general mucking about.
The oncologist would prefer that the ortho was taking more samples, cutting out more bone, as he would be doing if this was the origin site. But. There is already boney regrowth happening, and the ortho dr does not want to disturb it repeatedly. He is choosing to put a rod in without disturbing the original surgery. he wants to insert the rod up near the shoulder, and tighten it further down, getting closer to my elbow. There is a risk here, that, if there are cancer cells remaining in the arm, he could, inadvertently displace them further down the arm. This is why we will be doing radiation afterwards, inthe hopes of killing off any crap cells.
So, rod goes in, and stitches are made into the rotator cuff. This means NO MOVEMENT of the arm for at least two weeks, and then very limited activity for 6 weeks. He expects that this will all happen before Christmas, so any travel at Christmas is likely to be severely curtailed. I won't be even attempting to drive myself for a few weeks. This whole rotator cuff thing has me freaked a bit, I know so many people that have never been the same once they hurt their rotator cuff, so I will be overcautious with this.
The nurse came in today to remove the picc line from my arm. I need to wait one day with a bandaid on the site, but then can remove it and start to take care of the skin that has just been wrecked where the picc line was, from the various bandaids and adhesives that they have used. The tubing was 34 inches long in case anybody is interested. Wasn't that gross to look at afterwards, though I didn't look while they were doing it. Hopefully the itching will go away soon!
I am emotionally and physically exhausted right now. I thought I would start to feel better now that I am off the antibiotics, but they hang around for a while, and there is a lot of stuff starting to happen for the next surgery. That, and a bit of poor me, and we have one tired mama. Kids are here this weekend. There will be mandatory quiet time, for certain.
Friday, November 6, 2009
UNPLUGGED
So, I am officially unplugged from the antibiotics. I have the picc line in for another week, or until the ortho surgeon ok's its removal. I am taped up to waterproof the picc, and it is soooooo itchy that I may have to call the nurses to get them to come un-waterproof me! ARGH. Must think un-itchy thoughts!
It was lovely to have my first shower in months! Do I smell better or what! LOL
Emily continues to rock on the basketball court, scoring at least once each game and playing an awesome defence as well. Adam loves watching the games, he gets so excited. Next year, he can join the league.
Adam and Ryan both were invested into their Beaver troop on Monday, giving mommy lots of sewing for the week (each child gets 5 new badges at investiture). Somebody remind me that I need some new hand sewing needles.
Greg is famous once again at http://www.kingstonthisweek.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2162658
We think that if you squint, he *might* be in the food lineup. He will talk your ear off about it, if you want to know more.
My oncologist called Wed night to say that she had seen the ultrasound, and was going to run routine MRIs of the breasts in six months, and again six months later. She is also going to speak to my surgeon to understand what his options for surgery are, so that she can support me through that, and I can better understand it all.
I see the surgeon on Wed, in the afternoon.
Ryan is laying a wreath at their remembrance day service. Both boys will get to wear their beaver uniforms to school.
I am going to sleep all wknd. Hope that everybody has a good wknd.
Suzette
It was lovely to have my first shower in months! Do I smell better or what! LOL
Emily continues to rock on the basketball court, scoring at least once each game and playing an awesome defence as well. Adam loves watching the games, he gets so excited. Next year, he can join the league.
Adam and Ryan both were invested into their Beaver troop on Monday, giving mommy lots of sewing for the week (each child gets 5 new badges at investiture). Somebody remind me that I need some new hand sewing needles.
Greg is famous once again at http://www.kingstonthisweek.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2162658
We think that if you squint, he *might* be in the food lineup. He will talk your ear off about it, if you want to know more.
My oncologist called Wed night to say that she had seen the ultrasound, and was going to run routine MRIs of the breasts in six months, and again six months later. She is also going to speak to my surgeon to understand what his options for surgery are, so that she can support me through that, and I can better understand it all.
I see the surgeon on Wed, in the afternoon.
Ryan is laying a wreath at their remembrance day service. Both boys will get to wear their beaver uniforms to school.
I am going to sleep all wknd. Hope that everybody has a good wknd.
Suzette
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Ultrasound Update
There was a whole lot of nothing for them to see during the ultrasound today. The radiologist suggested that a birthmark that I have in the area in question *might* have shown up as a lighter area, and that might be what they saw. But there isn't anything else to see. And they went over and over the area to be sure.
SO.
This leaves us with four possible conclusions:
1- there is still cancer lurking somewhere in my body that they haven't yet located, and its waiting, like a time bomb, for me to get distracted. I refuse to accept this scenario, as I will NOT spend my life looking over my shoulder for the boogie man.
2- The cancer was a cantamination during the surgical or pathology process. I don't think its very mature to be thinking of this as a conclusion. Yes, it *might* be the answer, but we will never ever prove it, so lets just move on.
3- The originating cancerous cells "repaired" themselves, as the body is sometimes able to do, but they had already sent out soldiers to other areas. This is the less pleasant, as it agrees with the ortho surgeon who insists on treating me as a metastitized cancer patient. Meaning that they can treat me but never cure me.
4- The cancerous cells were in host breast tissue in the arm from when the body was in a fetal stage, and the different body parts had not yet established themselves. From the very beginning of the breast cancer diagnosis, I have mentioned an episode of "HOUSE" that had a young woman who had had proactive massectomies only to show up with breast cancer. They found the tissue behind her knee, and treated it. I had asked if this was a possbility, but the ortho surgeon said that it was to give me false hope to go there. But its now one of our more likely possibilities. If they headed in this direction, I would think that they would put me on estrogen inhibitors, and possibly do a hysterectomy, to protect me in the future from this type of cancer. But that is going to be a huge talk that I have when my surgery is over and done with on my arm. One thing at a time.
So.
Next Steps:
-antibiotics finish on Thurs morning, the nurses come in and cap the picc line.
-I see the ortho surgeon on Nov 11, if he is satisfied with my blood work and feels that the antibiotics have done the job, he will pull the picc line.
-we will start paperwork for my next arm surgery, to hopefully happen in the next few weeks.
And I am pooped. Gonna go take a nap or something.
SO.
This leaves us with four possible conclusions:
1- there is still cancer lurking somewhere in my body that they haven't yet located, and its waiting, like a time bomb, for me to get distracted. I refuse to accept this scenario, as I will NOT spend my life looking over my shoulder for the boogie man.
2- The cancer was a cantamination during the surgical or pathology process. I don't think its very mature to be thinking of this as a conclusion. Yes, it *might* be the answer, but we will never ever prove it, so lets just move on.
3- The originating cancerous cells "repaired" themselves, as the body is sometimes able to do, but they had already sent out soldiers to other areas. This is the less pleasant, as it agrees with the ortho surgeon who insists on treating me as a metastitized cancer patient. Meaning that they can treat me but never cure me.
4- The cancerous cells were in host breast tissue in the arm from when the body was in a fetal stage, and the different body parts had not yet established themselves. From the very beginning of the breast cancer diagnosis, I have mentioned an episode of "HOUSE" that had a young woman who had had proactive massectomies only to show up with breast cancer. They found the tissue behind her knee, and treated it. I had asked if this was a possbility, but the ortho surgeon said that it was to give me false hope to go there. But its now one of our more likely possibilities. If they headed in this direction, I would think that they would put me on estrogen inhibitors, and possibly do a hysterectomy, to protect me in the future from this type of cancer. But that is going to be a huge talk that I have when my surgery is over and done with on my arm. One thing at a time.
So.
Next Steps:
-antibiotics finish on Thurs morning, the nurses come in and cap the picc line.
-I see the ortho surgeon on Nov 11, if he is satisfied with my blood work and feels that the antibiotics have done the job, he will pull the picc line.
-we will start paperwork for my next arm surgery, to hopefully happen in the next few weeks.
And I am pooped. Gonna go take a nap or something.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
H1N1 cattle call!
My nurse had gone for her H1N1 shot two days ago, and was explaining to me how the process was working. So, when I found out that there was a clinic today, starting at 1pm, I packed everybody up and headed down. We were there before 1pm and there was already a 4 hour lineup. But I had been told to play the cancer card, because they needed me to have the shot pre-surgery. We waited for about 20 mins after explaining our priority, and then they took us up to the front of the line. The entire experience, including wait time following the shot was about 1 hour. The kids had varying reactions, Adam said it hurt a bit, but not much, Emily cried, and Ryan screamed his fool head off. Greg was very brave.
I bought them all frosties on the way homw.
I felt guilty about playing the cancer card, but there is no way I could have stood there for four hours. Its supposed to only be people on the priority lists, and yet thousands show up. They are hauling in any nurses that still have current licences, and closing healthy baby clinics and the like to put the staff over. And there are a lot of security guards. Plus the people to process the applications. This has to be costing a fortune! Will it all amount to nothing? Worse, is this going to be our generation's version of thalidomide, as I noticed a large number of pregnant women.
A fairly quiet week this week. Ultrasound on Tueaday morning. And then nothing else scheduled for the week. Thank goodness! Antibiotics are done this week, so the nurses will have to come in and cap off the picc line, and I will make arrangements to return the pump and all. So there will be plenty to keep me busy!
Adam was an awesome Harry Potter, Ryan was his loyal sidekick Ron, and Emily was a lovely cheetah for the candy haul last night. Cold night, very few kids out, mostly just nearby neighbours. Sad. I love Halloween. But the kids got a party at club and one at school, so they are happy.
Greg was another story. I am pretty sure he would STILL be out being silly, given the chance.
I bought them all frosties on the way homw.
I felt guilty about playing the cancer card, but there is no way I could have stood there for four hours. Its supposed to only be people on the priority lists, and yet thousands show up. They are hauling in any nurses that still have current licences, and closing healthy baby clinics and the like to put the staff over. And there are a lot of security guards. Plus the people to process the applications. This has to be costing a fortune! Will it all amount to nothing? Worse, is this going to be our generation's version of thalidomide, as I noticed a large number of pregnant women.
A fairly quiet week this week. Ultrasound on Tueaday morning. And then nothing else scheduled for the week. Thank goodness! Antibiotics are done this week, so the nurses will have to come in and cap off the picc line, and I will make arrangements to return the pump and all. So there will be plenty to keep me busy!
Adam was an awesome Harry Potter, Ryan was his loyal sidekick Ron, and Emily was a lovely cheetah for the candy haul last night. Cold night, very few kids out, mostly just nearby neighbours. Sad. I love Halloween. But the kids got a party at club and one at school, so they are happy.
Greg was another story. I am pretty sure he would STILL be out being silly, given the chance.
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